Brilliant Ubiquitous Leverage Limiting Simple Hideous Interactive Trends – Part I

In short… B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. !

Yes , thats right. What do you get when you connect IDEA@458 , AIRTEL@121 and the banking superpower IyIyI ( pronounced Aye-ye-ye-ye-ye ! ) bank… Complete and utter destruction!

Lend me your ears…

The year 2005, the mobile phone revolution. Everybody who's anybody has a phone . Now consider the power of linking your phone with your bank account!

Act 1 Scene 1:
Lady on the phone: Your balance is running low, please recharge immediately.
TTA: Bah. Hogwash. Lemme check out the flexi plans…

Idea cellular flexi plans… Go broke – flexibly.

You pay

We Get

They Get

You Get

for how long































Right. Now that’s what I call simple stuff. Notice the plans in Green vs. the plans in Red. Some of them give you more money with less time to talk, while others give you much less money, with much more time. I guess I would have to memorize that table before I could make any sense of it…

TTA heads for > Prepaid mobile recharge > idea and enters the phone number and the amount to zap to it. Moments later, voila – the money has been zapped from the confines of the account into non existence. 24 hours later, and there’s still no sign of the cash that went missing.


TTA proceeds to call up IDEA prepaid helpless-line @ 458. Moments later, I’m made to listen to irritating music till his/her highness the (ECC) Executive of Customer Care grants me an audience.

ECC: Good evening, someone here , how may I laugh at your problems?
TTA: Hello. I recharged my phone online through yesterday.
ECC: through an ATM?
TTA: no…… through the website!
ECC: oh! So, what’s the problem?
TTA: The money has not reached my phone yet.
ECC: Hmmm, Sir, has the money left your account?
TTA: Yes, it left yesterday.
ECC: Hmm….mmm, ( nod of dissatisfaction ) I have the solution!!!
TTA: yes?
ECC: You need to go to our Pattom head office. They will take good care of you and your ‘problem’ there.
TTA: ‘most gracious thanks O mighty one.’ By the way, how are we supposed to know the amount that we get when recharging online/at an ATM. (it is not displayed anywhere)
ECC: Ha ha ha ha, you don’t get to know… Only we get to know. You have to call us to find out.
TTA: @#$%&*%!@#%^&^
ECC: Thank you for the inconvenience

Act 1 Scene 2:
Idea postpaid helpless line: 12345 , 9847012345
Idea prepaid helpless line: 458 , 9847112345

Assume you have 2 idea connections, a prepaid and a postpaid. You cannot call up the postpaid Gods from your lowly prepaid connection.

Why not? Because the number has been blocked.
Why? Because there are some dimwitted blockheads that never figured that someone ~might need to call up the postpaid helpline from a prepaid number.

You need another phone ( i.e. a landline / another idea postpaid / any other company phone ) to make a call to the postpaid helpline.
ECC: Oh… , yes sir. It is like that.
TTA: @#$%&*%!@#%^&^

People who run these companies obviously don’t dare use their own products…!

Act 1 Scene 3:
Idea prepaid helpless line: 458 , 9847112345

I visited NIT Surathkal for ‘Incident’ and headed on to Bangalore for CEED in Feb ‘04. My next visit was in June ’04. My contacts were using Airtel connections, while I was roaming on Hutch.
One has not experienced true joy until they have spent countless hours calling up IDEA customer care in Kerala from Karnataka explaining to them why they cannot call Airtel numbers that supposedly 'do not exist'.

It’s a real treat to be stranded on the roadside at 04:30 in the morning because ‘the number you have dialed does not exist…’ . Let me put it this way. The number I have dialed does exist, it’s just that IDEA roaming on Hutch did not want to route outgoing calls to Airtel and found it quite amusing toying with people.

Well, I did finally get through to the Airtel number. How? I called up a guy on his land line at 04:30 a.m. and requested him to call the Airtel number.

IDEA , HUTCH, AIRTEL . ( Guess which finger I’m holding up. )

Coming Soon. Part II. The wrath of Airtel.


2 Responses to “Brilliant Ubiquitous Leverage Limiting Simple Hideous Interactive Trends – Part I”

  1. lash Says:

    hahahahahahahah ECC cant get any better.. last time i called her she was unaware of any online stuff.. and i ended up explaining her my ‘ situation’ and she felt sorry for me.. sorry enough to say ” i will check it sir and i will get back ” .that never happened.–>

  2. addy Says:

    damn right there…those stupid IyIyI bank credit card guys will hide your cheue somewhere and will charge u late payment fees..these guys are brainless….especiallly that u cant call from postpaid for prepaid and things like that

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