For want of the net…. Dear Santa…

Our hero enjoyed high speed blessings for the past month.
In fact, blessings straight from the gods….

There's an old saying, seek and you shall find. Well our hero, sought, and he found.
The end result? A broader than usual band. Well all that came to an end recently when our hero felt like a fish out of water, out from the frying pan and into the fire.

After enjoying the best of the best, our hero found himself strapped for air, the last 24 hours, trapped in his captors intranets. Struck with claustrophobia, our hero considered banging the 15" Dell TFT on his head to ease the suffering.

Our hero prays,

Oh mentor,
please give me unlimited access…
to the body of knowledge…

within minutes he gets his reply…

In his moment of joy, he remembers that he needs higher approval , and proceeds to pray to the meta-mentor!

Oh meta-mentor!
Do grant this wish!

within minutes , he gets this reply.

Woo hoo! Our hero is overjoyed! He can breathe again. He proceeds to fill out an Ayehdee!

For the uninitiated, an Ayehdee is like a letter to santa claus. You want something bad enough, you write a letter to him , and start praying that he grants your wish.

So our hero sends an Ayehdee for in high hopes that his wish will be granted. Some time later, he gets a call…

Elf: Hi, i see you have written a letter to santa wishing for something that you are too young to get?
hero: yes, thats right… The gods have spoken , so please grant me the unthinkable gift.
Elf: Well , i would , but you see, you are from the south, so you need to contact the local north pole, not the global north pole.
hero: but .. but… but.. im at the global north pole now!!
Elf: Well… Hmm… aaah… Ok, in that case…. ok, you can't get it because…. because… hmm.. wel… because, .. ya , because your mail id was made in Tvm! Yes, thats it..! You need a mail id from the north pole! So please ask god to transfer your mail id to the north pole!!

Hero: … umm.. ok .. north pole .. mail .. transfer.

–> Our hero proceeds to write another letter to Santa, Ayehdee #2. Dear santa, please get me a north pole mail id!!

Hero enters an unlimited wait state…

0x2000 NOP
0x2001 JMP
0x2002 00
0x2003 20

By 5:00 p.m. that evening, our hero is distraught. He hasnt got his first wish granted, and is no closer to getting his second wish granted!!!

He decides to add a comment in the Ayehdee to santa, and expresses his excitement, hoping for speedy action.

The next morning, our hero arrives at work as usual and is dumbstruck to find himself greeted with less priviliges than a fresh inmate to tihar jail. Not only doesn't he have access during the privileged hours, he cannot access during the normal grace period ( 7-9 am , 5-7 pm!!) …

The next 8 hours are like solitary for our hero… He quickly calls up the CCD helpline ( Cardiac Care Department ) …

Heelp, im having a card-iac arrest… I cant breathe, im trapped on the intranet!! Heelo..

CCD: Hi, we cant help you till Santa grants your wishes. Now if you were a 'special case' like a senior person, or a return traveller, i could hook you up with something, or….. if you had some kind of approval from the gods…

Come 5:00 pm the same day, our hero still has no room to breathe and goes completely mad…


Yes , dear readers, mad people can get madder… if exposed to the right conditions…

Our hero plans to see just how long his Ayehdee can go unanswered …. he is going to expose the full power of the CCD's SLA….

With net on the phones, net on the pdas, net on the laptops, net on the PSP's , net on the gizmondo GPS's , net on the Treo 650, net in the villages, net on airplanes, net on ships, why should it be so damned hard for us to get it ???

Still disconnected.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: