Bangalored II – The land of the lost…

Greetings weary traveller.

If you are reading this, then by all means, i am still bangalored, awaiting my sentencing.
In the times that have passed, authorities have confirmed that they want me to stay here and get lost, both at the same time…

The poor downtrodden soul, accused of treating objects like women. Oh what greater shame can there possibly be? Unable to walk down the streets for fear of being assaulted by some woman hating woman in a bad mood looking for an unsuspecting soul to pounce on…

Never-never-mind. Theres an old chinese proverb:
Q: How do you keep a software engineer waiting?
A: I'll tell you on monday.

Yes. This is one of the unwritten laws of the industrious workforce that binds us all together. Its like the centripetal/centrifugal force , or put in simpler terms, its like in the movies where the lead lady says, "I love you, but I have to go…".

i.e. Total crap… So our hero end up in the same location, only almost disowned by his so-far generous hosts, that provide him the basic necessities, i.e. a roof over his head, electricity, hot and cold running water, a laundromat, cable television, a telephone, a comfy king size bed with a blanket and two sheets, coffee/tea/a kettle, a Pizza parlour with room delivery, room service, housekeeping, LAN/Internet connectivity, cycles, and a peaceful nights sleep.

Ahh, the basic necessities of life. What would one do without them… especially in bangalore!!

It just so happens that after our hero is assured that he has to stay put, there is joyous celebration around the world, infact his own group from down south was so happy about it, that they organized a getaway tour on the weekend and got-away on the weekend. Another group, called for a group photo, hearing the wonderful news of our hero's sticky situation.

Bringing us to more recent events.

Scientists have discovered a new lingo-grammatical strain of the previously undiagnosed mad cow disease that causes violent out breaks, unheard-till-now foul language, high levels of charge,buzzing(Ctrl-G) every few seconds and most of all, plain b-yatch-iness in the fairer sex . They have termed this strain as the full stop, or simply the . .

Now the symptoms for this are not easily noticable, they say. We have been through so much abuse that its hard to tell the difference between ppl who are suffering from this grammatical disorder, or who just enjoy being plain nasty to others all day long.

Scientists have been working for months to come up with a cure for the innocent bystanders that are affected by the constant explosions of rage and terror. They called their invention the 'Year-Plug'.

This year plug is made from a variety of materials and offers sufficient protection from the evil verbal abuse and insults that may flow your way.

When using the revolutionary 'Year-Plug', all obscene language is automagically filtered out !

Guy: Hi, may I know the time please?
Ans: No you may not , you worthless s** of a *****, why don't you ****** to the ***** you came from and find some other ***** to bother…. Hmmmph! Men!

These scientists have won a million dollar grant from the university of Middlesex, to continue research into this mysterious grammatical flaw.
They have found that , similar to the atomic theory of too many protons and neutrons spoil the pie, a single . every now and then is managable.

eg: Hi! how are you? Im fine.

but, in cases of grammatical addiction, the results can be fatal.

eg: hi . why you little $%^&* . #@$@ . go to #$# . …… :p

This example is classified as a 9 on the Vector scale. 9 = If you encounter one of these, you are probably dead by now…

But, what can i say, I'm in bangalore now . hee hee hee


One Response to “Bangalored II – The land of the lost…”

  1. nomadic_waves Says:

    Dropped by…

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