Archive for May, 2006

Networking … Notworking…

May 20, 2006

Its been a week now, at the new zip code 77338, and i have had limited access to the internet. Imagine my surprise when i figured out that Econolodge had a 1.5 MBps + connection !! 

 And for what kind of freaky coincidence do i get a painfully barely legal under the speed limit connection that is slower than a GPRS connection. Even after turning off images/java/javascript, there was no hope…

Enter my brand new WRT54G ver 4!! I happened to find it hiding behind a shelf at Radio Shack! I left no Linksys box unturned to find a CDFAxxxxx RT54G, or a CGN6xxxxx WRT54GS. I found a WRT54GS V4 for $69.99 at Radio Shack in Deerbrook Mall, but this is the reduced RAM / Flash (4 MB/16 MB) version compared to the earlier (4MB/32 MB). wrt54gI studied every package looking for the right one and happen to see a different sort of label on one box that read CDFAxxxxx . Confused, i read it again, and to my surprise, i had found a legacy V4 WRT54G for $49.99!! (Joy!!!)

 Now back to the networking notworking. The Godzilla that is known as a TOSHIBA satellite that was given to me happened to sprain my shoulder and injure my arm in 3 different locations. I figured out why its called a Satellite. Satellite or Payloads are these heavy useless hunks of metal that scientists send off into outer space. Pay Load. You carry the load , and pay .. and pay.. and pay… ( I spent the entire frankfurt-chicago flight with my arm pressed behind my back due to the searing pain 😦 ).

 More info on the satellites from wikipedia.
A satellite is … primary…mass that has a Pentium 4 M with 256MB of RAM and a 20 Gig hdd. When they said 'Houston, we have a problem' , im sure they meant something about lugging this TON of circuitry over continents to find out that there was no plug for the US and the friggin batter was dead.Now it turns out that Econolodge uses a very very very very fast intenet connection. And i was reduced to trying to browse like a WAP user dialing in at 9600 bps on roaming. ( Which reminds me, i got a call at 1 in the morning from India. Thinking it was some kind of emergency, i called back using an airtel calling card, only to find it was the ICICI office. ICICI $#%#$% called me up at 1 in the morning when im on inter-frigging-national roaming to ask whether i wanted a credit card! When i kindly informed them that i was currently not in a position to grace the conversation, they enquired about my return and vowed to contact me then . #$%#$%#.

Oh yes. Houston is fun. Especially since Econolodge is strategically located near Best Buy/Circuit City/Radio Shack et all. And internet slower that WAP over GSM.

 I decided to try connect via the WRT54G , and voila. Higher than high speed internet via Satellite! 
more news later… 

usa …. or bust.

May 7, 2006

the team of crack scientists at T's A are working round the clock deciphering and developing optimized algorithms to legally transport

we are considering filing for a patent for this "usa or bust" ready reckoner! We are prepared to share some of our findings here.

hI yam inspector Juack Clueauseo of ze french Intelligence. Listen very carefully, i shall say this only once!

We have found a way to infiltrate the land of usa by some top secret means that shall be disclosed by the discloser to the disclosee. We are working out the methods to transport out top secret agent "TTA" to the new location.

We are using a logarithmic tables to calculate the probability and

Method #1 – H4

This method involves careful surveillance of engineers that are out of this world and work in strange location doing strange things. You need to find a fresh specimen that is free from ties that bind and you need to have a photo-genic photographic espousal ceremony with at least 15 memories digitally captured for posterity.

pros: you get a one way ticket to the us, while someone else does the work!
cons: you have to answer all funny questions about when you plan to have kids, how you met the specimen and most of all, you have to bear with the fact that you are married to an alien in a specialty occupation!!

Method #2 – L2

This method is a bit more tricky.. The specimen keep jumping between locations and are more hard to track down. As soon as you find a free one, sink your teeth in! Whats better? You get to spend all day lazing on a recliner with a beer on one hand and the remote in the other, or, maybe you can go out and get a friggin job! Once again the same photogenic posterity rules apply , but you need a EAD or some such thing to promise that you wont try your hand at jobs that you have absolutely no aptitude for…

pros: you can sit around at home sipping a pina colada, or you can bring home some greenbacks yourself, you are a tax saving!
cons: you might have to work 🙂 , you will get tossed around the country like the specimen,so there goes your social life…

Method #3 – Get your own bag!

This method involves purchasing a bag of Ruffles Lays ( no one can eat just one ) and paving your own way to the us… involving lots of late nights, lots of hard work, a company willing to send you overseas , someone willing to place millions of lives in your hands by allowing you to code for devices that will decide the fate of humanity — or — admission in a fancy university and a will to put yourself through more gruelling education. After spending years or enr in india, you can learn the 3 r's and get some rnr, and work your ass off in the us,enjoying the greener grass as well…

Method #4 – Bust

This method to be used only in case methods #1 – #3 have failed… You are obviously not going anywhere… , even though your orkut horrorscope reads "you will travel a lot" and "Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded" ..! ( I certainly hope so, or I'm suing orkut & ….. 🙂 ) Since the plans went bust, so must you.. (I'm including a bit of my own predictions here…) Your search for the <usa and or bust> must never end. You have places to go, and people to meet. And you are advised to keep your eyes wide open and let your smile do the talking 🙂 .

In case of any queries, do contact the travel departments for methods #1 – #3 , for all general queries, do contact me. Now listen very carefully for i shall say this only once.

hi ham on a top secret mission
to find the perpetrator that has stolen
the famous blue bison CAT5 cable
from the fedora machine
that resides on my table
and allows me to enable

I know you are out there, and I shall bring you to justice!!