usa …. or bust.

the team of crack scientists at T's A are working round the clock deciphering and developing optimized algorithms to legally transport

we are considering filing for a patent for this "usa or bust" ready reckoner! We are prepared to share some of our findings here.

hI yam inspector Juack Clueauseo of ze french Intelligence. Listen very carefully, i shall say this only once!

We have found a way to infiltrate the land of usa by some top secret means that shall be disclosed by the discloser to the disclosee. We are working out the methods to transport out top secret agent "TTA" to the new location.

We are using a logarithmic tables to calculate the probability and

Method #1 – H4

This method involves careful surveillance of engineers that are out of this world and work in strange location doing strange things. You need to find a fresh specimen that is free from ties that bind and you need to have a photo-genic photographic espousal ceremony with at least 15 memories digitally captured for posterity.

pros: you get a one way ticket to the us, while someone else does the work!
cons: you have to answer all funny questions about when you plan to have kids, how you met the specimen and most of all, you have to bear with the fact that you are married to an alien in a specialty occupation!!

Method #2 – L2

This method is a bit more tricky.. The specimen keep jumping between locations and are more hard to track down. As soon as you find a free one, sink your teeth in! Whats better? You get to spend all day lazing on a recliner with a beer on one hand and the remote in the other, or, maybe you can go out and get a friggin job! Once again the same photogenic posterity rules apply , but you need a EAD or some such thing to promise that you wont try your hand at jobs that you have absolutely no aptitude for…

pros: you can sit around at home sipping a pina colada, or you can bring home some greenbacks yourself, you are a tax saving!
cons: you might have to work 🙂 , you will get tossed around the country like the specimen,so there goes your social life…

Method #3 – Get your own bag!

This method involves purchasing a bag of Ruffles Lays ( no one can eat just one ) and paving your own way to the us… involving lots of late nights, lots of hard work, a company willing to send you overseas , someone willing to place millions of lives in your hands by allowing you to code for devices that will decide the fate of humanity — or — admission in a fancy university and a will to put yourself through more gruelling education. After spending years or enr in india, you can learn the 3 r's and get some rnr, and work your ass off in the us,enjoying the greener grass as well…

Method #4 – Bust

This method to be used only in case methods #1 – #3 have failed… You are obviously not going anywhere… , even though your orkut horrorscope reads "you will travel a lot" and "Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded" ..! ( I certainly hope so, or I'm suing orkut & ….. 🙂 ) Since the plans went bust, so must you.. (I'm including a bit of my own predictions here…) Your search for the <usa and or bust> must never end. You have places to go, and people to meet. And you are advised to keep your eyes wide open and let your smile do the talking 🙂 .

In case of any queries, do contact the travel departments for methods #1 – #3 , for all general queries, do contact me. Now listen very carefully for i shall say this only once.

hi ham on a top secret mission
to find the perpetrator that has stolen
the famous blue bison CAT5 cable
from the fedora machine
that resides on my table
and allows me to enable

I know you are out there, and I shall bring you to justice!!

tta

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One Response to “usa …. or bust.”

  1. Rose Says:

    “You need to find a fresh specimen that is free from ties that bind and you need to have a photo-genic photographic espousal ceremony with at least 15 memories digitally captured for posterity.”

    ROTFL… 😀

    U seem to be at ur craziest best, TTA..

    🙂

    ..Me

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